No Velvet Rope Can Help VIP Stop the Steamrolling Spices


Thursday saw The Team Your Team Could Smell Like take the field against a small VIP Let’s Kick It Squad. Going into the match undefeated had the Spices confident, but a slow offensive start deadened the team’s spirit.

Though the Spices’ feet were quiet in the first two innings, the defense held strong, giving the VIPs few chances to capitalize on.

Shortstop Catie (Nutmeg) reeled in a catch that surprised some since they didn’t even know she had a line on it.

“I promise I’ll call it next time!” cried FBJ. “Sometimes I just get in the zone and think, ‘Yeah, I can get this one…’ I didn’t want to lose that focus.”

“While I would like to hear a bit more chatter on the field than we heard last night,” said Captain Big. “There’s no denying the fact that Catie’s focus led to a solid defensive performance.”

Second baseman Squints made a pair of good plays on the right side, including a catch of her own.

“I saw the ball coming at me and all I was thinking was, ‘Geez! Don’t let it hit me in the face and knock me out!’” she said afterwards.

“It’s comments like that which really build up the captain’s confidence in his defense,” said Big. “Much like Angela’s ‘Oh crap!’ when the ball is kicked at her.”

The only defensive hiccup on the night came on a dipping drive into right field where Spartacus (Ginger) seemingly had it lined up for a catch, only to have it slip through her hands and bounce back in towards the infield. When asked what went wrong, Lindsey was quick to answer:

“I almost missed the almost catch because of Tristan's distracting dance moves,” she said. “I am glad I was able to refocus and make the almost-catch possible.”

“What a harlot!” replied Tristan. “She was totally doing an ‘I-have-to-pee’ dance and I called her on it!”

“What the hell is going on in right field?” asked Big, scratching his head.

Benny Hill antics aside, after two quiet innings, the Spices’ offense suddenly came alive in the third inning, starting with rookie and game MVP Melanie’s (Musk Mallow) RBI double.

“Being a newb, I'm glad I could get things started last night,” said Melanie. “Bunting and running like hell clearly go a long way.”

The Spices would go on to score 6 more runs in succession, with JP (AfterHours), Seamus (Cudweed), Chris (All Spice), Tristan (Scary Spice) and Spartacus all knocking in runs.

No mistake defense and enterprising kicking and running led to an 8-0 result that the Spices could be proud of.

“It was a solid result,” said Big, who added another victim to his season foul-out tally (4) on the mound. “I loved the aggression on the base paths we saw from everybody. The rally in the third was as exciting as anything we’ve seen on the field this season… Well, maybe not as exciting as Ray’s fall-on-his-ass catch.”



The rest of the week leading up to next Thursday, no doubt, will be filled with speculation about the Spices’ next match against Blue Steel. This will be a replay of last season’s Championship Final match, in which the then King Hippos took home the trophy.

When asked about the upcoming clash, Asian laughed, “They’re going down!”

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