#FirstWorldProblems Split Banana Mustache, Put Up Runs in Bunches

The coldest Wednesday of the young season saw the #Hashtags face off against plucky Banana Mustache.

It didn’t take long to see that the #Problems were in rare form as they plated 12 runs in the first two innings.

“I think there must’ve been something in the light beer we drank before the game,” said a winded Co-Captain Big, who connected for three homeruns and 10 RKIs on the night. “But we clearly need to drink more of it.”

Nick, also on a tear this season after posting a goose-egg average this summer, connected for a homerun of his own in the second inning.

“Days after that blast to right field and I’m still catching my breath,” he said. “This is one of the few times I’ve actually kicked the ball where I intended and was glad I could contribute to the team’s success. I’ve never had to run around so many bases before and I’ve been looking for ways to shorten the trip.”

The offensive explosion was also helped along in the second inning by a booming triple by Amit who channeled his inner Adam Jensen: “I finally learned how to use my bionic leg!” (Editor’s note: Actually Amit’s an MIT alum, so this talk of bionic appendages may be more based on reality than the latest chapter in the Deus Ex videogame franchise.)

Defensively, the #Hashtags had contributions all over the field despite the chill. In the later innings, Shelby made a Top Ten-worthy snag at her shoe laces in the middle infield to stop a promising Mustache rally.

“I’m still reeling from that catch!” exulted Shelby. “I can't believe I actually caught it; I don't think I realized that I even went for it until I caught the ball!”

The #Problems don’t have long to revel in their win, however, as a short week means they have a quick turnaround for their much-anticipated matchup against bitter(-ish?) rivals: ExPresidents 2: Frontier Justice.

“Matrix: Reloaded, Temple of Doom, Rush Hour 2, Shanghai Knights: These are the sort of sequels we expect to see out of these guys,” said Big. “All sequels are terrible is what I’m saying… well, except for Two Towers… And Back to the Future 2… D2: The Mighty Ducks was pretty good, they got Keenan…”

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