Robbies Mow Down Grass Kickers

The Rampaging Trilobites came into Thursday night’s match against the Grass Kickers in high spirits as they looked to complete their perfect season and go into the 2012 MA Patriot Playoffs with an 8-0 record. 

The Robbies’ offense came out of the gate swinging in the bottom of the first, plating seven runs on RBIs by Phil, Colin, Asian, a triple by Bala and a homerun by Big.

Captain Big attributed the offensive explosion to veteran cunning, physical prowess, and a dogged persistence.

“That, and we kicked the crap out of the ball, today,” he added.

With a commanding lead against a team that was clearly eyeing their bus with longing, the Trilobites would take their foot off the gas and go to a “Kick-away-no-munting” strategy through the rest of the game. The seven runs would prove more than enough to guarantee the win, but the relaxed mindset may have cost Nancy her perfect kicking record on the season, as she had a foul ball caught in the bottom of the fourth inning.

Defensively, the Trilobites were, at times, fighting over scraps, as Phil largely held the Grass Kickers’ offense silent.

Game MVP JP, playing a rare game in the Hot Corner at third base, was given numerous opportunities and he made the most of them, single-handedly accounting for all three outs in the third inning, including an impressive one-armed snag on a roped kick in foul territory.

"Watch and learn Youk/Middlebrooks, see how it's done!" exclaimed the Breathless Buddha. JP holds the distinction of being the only player to win the Game MVP award twice this season.

When reached for comment, Youkilis only said, “I’m over it.”

On the other side of the diamond, Asian had a number of catches of her own, as her competitive streak pushed her to outperform the “other Asian person on the team”. While she nearly had all three outs in the fourth, a short fly that resulted in the third out was caught by a dutifully oblivious Colin at first base.

“The ball belonged to Colin, I was being greedy,” Asian said when asked about calling for a ball that was clearly the first baseman’s to play. “After seeing JP take all three outs in one inning, I had to prove I was the better Asian. I mean, I am the Asian!”

“I'm like a ball magnet,” said Colin. “Whenever balls are in the area, they'll find their way into my hands.”

An otherwise unremarkable game, however, did see the return of the oft-absent Pete at the Lobster Claw position. Pete has missed an unusually large number of games this season for various reasons. When asked how he managed to find the field again, Pete said:

“It was really never about me finding the field. The real story is how the field found me. Fade into a montage of kickball players walking out of a crop of marijuana, and you'll find me at 1st base.”

The Trilobites succeeded in finishing the MA Patriot 2012 season with the maximum possible points, easily earning a first seed placement going into playoffs. A Munt and Flip team has not taken home the Championship hardware since 2009, so the Trilobites will be hoping that this is the year they will earn their third star.

Playoffs will commence on Thursday, July 12. Fans of the Robbies should stay tuned for updates as to when they’ll next see their favorite kickball team in action on Cambridge Common!

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