Robbies Slime Kickelodeon in Quarterfinal Blowout

The Rampaging Trilobites entered the 2012 MA Patriot Playoffs riding high on an 8 game win streak in which they consistently exhibited a comfortable dominance over the rest of the league.

Tom goes deep.
However, if Munt and Flip history has taught us anything, the team’s biggest enemy has been complacence. So the Robbies took the field on Thursday night with a self-assured determination, confident but resolute. Fans tuning in to see a close-fought duel, however, saw a game end almost before it had begun.

 Kickelodeon, who had easily dispatched Gettin’ Cider in their first round, were unprepared for the Robbies’ defensive coolness and offensive ferocity.

With three of the first four Trilobites kickers reaching base, Game MVP Tom stepped into the kicking box with a full plate. One pitch was all he needed to send the ball into deep right center for a grand slam.

The Robbies would then score five more in the bottom of the frame, including a two run triple by Pete.

Allow a ball to drop, then *you* have to drop!
“Being able to kick a triple is no easy feat,” said the breathless first baseman. “Lots of hardwork and practice go into learning just how to handle the ball with your toes. Typically, I lack the forethought to play enough to watch for signs of whether or not I should continue and end up just blowing past in excited anticipation of getting home.  Today, however, I stopped at third for a tease. The extra time spent at third led to a greater climax in the end.”

If the nine run first inning wasn’t enough to take the wind out of the orange team’s sails, a nearly impenetrable Robbie defense did. The defensive star of the night went to catcher Chris, who had three put-outs, including the night’s only double play. When asked what he’s been spiking his muscle milk with, he said, “Saints Flow! If cocaine and coffee fucked in an alley, this would be the baby they left in the trashcan.”

So there’s that.

The Trilobites’ offense would come alive, again, in the bottom of the third inning for six more runs, including RBIs by Big, Nick, two for Charles and two more for Tom.

Reporters caught up with Tom in the locker room after the offensive explosion.

“I knew that if I could get 6 RBIs in the playoffs, I could complain about arbitration in the off season,” said the plucky third baseman. “So the decision to kick a grand slam was purely a financial one, but damn if it didn't feel good.”

With a 14 run deficit, Kick-At-Night developed a keen interest in a refreshing beer and abruptly abandoned their 2012 playoff run after the top of the fourth inning.

Many of the Trilobites joined them, while others descended on the Harvard Square JP Licks where they horrified other ice cream enthusiasts with Internet video tales and Coconut Butter fights.

The Robbies will face off against Das Boot in their Semi-Final match. The Booters will be looking for revenge after their regular season defeat. The Trilobites will not be able to take their foot off the gas if they hope to earn an invite to the storied 2012 WAKA Founders Cup in Las Vegas.

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