I hope you're all well-rested after a nice weekend of mild conditioning and coordination drills, no drinking or carousing, early curfews and light reading.
This week, we face our deadliest foe in Semi-Final battle: Gettin' Cider.
Never has the Common seen a team filled with such scum and villainy. Never has a kickball team been so reviled and spat upon. Never has this guy (with two thumbs) enjoyed seeing two players run smack into each other resulting in a lot of trauma over a lightly blooded lip.
The Cider are a solid team. They have a strategy. They have skill.
But they have been beaten. And according to one source, they have their own Hippo... and not the good kind. She stands over by second base and can't catch a ball to save her life.
But that all aside: We are the King Hippos, the noblest of all Hippos. We will go out there, heads held high, confident in our own skills and strategy, and in the fact that Captain Big has properly walked off the base paths.
We can adapt if their infielders prove too adept at fielding the bunt, or we can show them what a real bunt looks like.
Regardless of what happens, I want you all to know this season has been fantastic. You're the best group of kickballers I've played with since... since... well, since last season.
Go time this week is 6:30. We play on the grass field, which has been our house all season.
The Final will be played at 7:15 on the dirt between the winner of our match and the victor of the Scoregasm-Blue Steel matchup.
In other news, last week's recap is up.
As always, please let me know if you're in or if you're going to be watching us on TV from your hospital bed after being side-swiped by a pick-up after a big win and turning down your friend-from-the-other-side-of-the-tracks' offer to come out partying and then going on to compete in the Special Olympics and then dying in another car accident this time with a drunk driver.
"It was Bruce Banner, not David Banner, you oppitwat."