Wet Bandits Come East! Chicago Suburbs Breathe Easy
It was a muggy evening in Somerville as the Wet Bandits and Playground Legends took the field. Fresh off an undefeated regular season in the Patriot summer division as The Team Your Team Could Smell Like, the Wet Bandits were eager to climb into the panel van and start casing joints.
Their first challenge would be the upstart Playground Legends who are, by far, the loudest and greenest team they’ve played all season.
Despite the Legends’ intimidating place in recess folklore, the Bandits were able to push two quick runs across in the first with RBIs by Asian and the still-injured Brow, acting as DH, scoring Frey and Captain Monkeybutt (who still maintains that Randy Munkay should also count as a run… well, maybe half a run…)
The Bandits then opened the taps in the second, with a six run rally on the strength of RBI doubles by BK and Nancy (her first career two-bagger) and run-scoring singles by Ray, Barry and Tristan.
While the Legends got on the board in the bottom of the second, Big kicked a three run homer in the top of the third to keep them on the ropes. BK then drove in his third RBI on the night in the top of the fourth.
The Legends, however, were not done, as they muscled three runs across in the bottom of the fifth before the Bandits were able to finally shut the door on their first victim of the season.
“It was a fun game,” said Co-Captain Big, who filled in for the absent Captain Colin “Man of” Steele. “They were a great team to play with. Nick’s honesty at second base – though really only serving to confuse things by insisting, himself, that he was out when he should’ve just stood on the bag until a ref told him to leave – was a perfect example of the best kind of kickball sportsmanship.”
Both teams’ defenses benefited from the fresh balls, with accurate throws that made for close calls all over the infield. First baseman BK, returning to Somerville after a three year hiatus was happy with the conditions. “"Somerville has lights, so that's cool. And Samba has beer and flip cup, something I haven't seen in a divisional bar since, well, the last time I played at Samba in Somerville."
Kevin earned the Bandits’ game MVP award (trophy pending) for his efforts in the hot corner, with a couple of seams, an over the shoulder catch in shallow left and holding onto a bullet down the line to end the game. In lieu of a Wet Bandits trophy, Kevin took home (again) the Team Your Team Could Smell Like MVP Clam. “I will be heading to JC Penny over the weekend to take a family portrait with the clam,” he said proudly. “It will hang over my TV for many years to come.” This can only result in more material for AwkwardFamilyPhotos.com.
With a final of 12-4, the two teams repaired to Samba’s where a few of the Bandits made some attempt at proving themselves at the flip cup table. While team newcomers Helen and Barry (traded from the Ballstars in the offseason) flipped like veterans, Tristan struggled to find his form and Big was, literally, embarrassed by his visiting younger sister.
Helen, who was voted the “Hottest Kickballer” during the summer Patriot division, played the game without her trademark suspenders.
"Well, to be honest, I felt naked without my pink polka-dot suspenders,” she said. “They may have to make a comeback next week. There might be some unicorn-shaped pigtails too...perhaps. But the lack of suspenders may not be the most disappointing part of tonight, though. Our victory is no victory unless Tristan can flip a cup in less than 10 tries. Another week, I hope."
After the hurry up and stop of the coming bye week, the Bandits look forward to facing off against the Schweaty Balls when play resumes in two weeks. It's been noted that the Schweaty Balls, like The Team Your Team Could Smell Like were undefeated in their respective previous regular seasons. This should be a monster match-up!