Spices Broom Clean Blue Steel

A diminished Team Your Team Could Smell Like took the field, Thursday, against the resurgent Blue Steel, looking to put a cap on their perfect season. The Steel, on the other hand, were looking for revenge after the Spices took the series opener in a tense and shortened match back on June 24th.

Though their defense held strong, the Spices’ offense was uncharacteristically quiet on the night. As a result, all of the scoring came in the first inning. First, the Spices plated five runs in the top of the inning, then the Blues pushed two across in the bottom half of the frame.

Spices infielder Bayewitch kicked in two runners, earning her a season high single game RBI-tally. JP went two for two on the day, though he suffered an out of character lapse of judgment on the base paths in the later innings when he was doubled up off a pop fly.

“DOH,” said JP. “My perfect regular season record is ruined!”

JP more than redeemed himself, however, with numerous strong plays in the field, including a key catch in left center after a long run that prevented a Blue Steel rally.

The story of the night, however, went to Brennan, who made his first career start at third base. The Spices were missing all three of their potential third basemen on the day, leading to the late change to the lineup.

Brow performed admirably through the course of the game, coming close on numerous throws to first and not allowing any cheap runs or shots down the third base line.

In the fifth inning, however, fate caught up with him. Charging a roller down the baseline, Brennan scooped up the ball and made a strong heave to first where the runner narrowly beat the ball to the bag.

In the act of throwing, however, Brennan managed to dislodge his arm from its housing. The arm remained dislocated despite the efforts of the on-field medics and required professional attention. Brennan was bussed off the field to a thunderous applause.

“Well, I threw to first, and the entire right side of my body felt like it got punched,” said Brennan (seen below during happier times). “My whole arm went numb so I had it in me to feel my ‘shoulder.’ Judging by the bone jutting out of my back, I was guessing it was dislocated.

“Thanks to all the Spices and the Spices’ cheering section (‘Herbs?’) who helped out last night. No sports for four weeks, though, good luck in the playoffs.”

The Spices would hold on in the bottom half of the inning to complete the victory and their perfect 8-0 regular season record, though the celebration was somewhat dampened by the injury. Brennan was posthumously awarded the game MVP trophy.

“I don’t want people to think it was a pity award,” said Captain Big. “We asked a lot of Brennan tonight. We asked him to play a position he’s never played before, to make throws he hasn’t had to throw and to bear pressure he hasn’t been asked to bear before.

“I think he held up admirably... well, until his body literally started to fall apart... then, of course, there was a degree of whimpering and sobbing. But I think he can be forgiven a little bit of whining when his arm isn’t in the place where it should be.”

With the loss of The Brow for the rest of the season, the Spices will need to make some changes to the lineup, but they remain confident that they can carry their regular season momentum through the playoffs and earn an unprecedented third-straight championship.

This author would also like to issue an apology to the Balls Deep player who was mentioned in last week’s recap. No offense was intended and we hope that she can forgive us for the ribbing she received from her teammates when they learned that her exploits had been highlighted in another team’s pages. When the writer ran into the player on the field, he readily offered an apology and asked to confirm her name, in the event a misnomer might also have contributed to the player’s aggravation. The player then proceeded to lie about her identity. This is understandable, the player wishes to remain anonymous. In the interest of meeting the players’ wishes, in any future mention in these pages, the player shall be known as “Fizzie”. We would like to wish Fizzie and her Xena-trill luck in all her future ventures.

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