Spaceballs to Warlocks: “You Shall Not Pass!”

Perennial MA Patriot giants Gone To Plaid and Blue Steel (this year masquerading as Big Blue WINNING! MaSheen) took the field on Thursday, and as they did the tremors could be felt as far away as the Sheraton Commander. The rivalry between these teams is as deep as any in kickball, going back almost four years in a history that is both storied and legendary.

It was Blue Steel that Gone to Plaid (then the Green Team) had to triumph over in an epic overtime-into-the dark match to achieve their first league Championship. Their games, as captains for both squads have said, are never blow-outs. They’re always close as both teams bring out the best in their opponents. Thursday’s match was no different.

It had the makings of a pitchers’ duel as both hurlers appeared to be dialed in at the start. The only run for the first half of the game came in the first off an RBI single by Big with bases loaded.

After that, scoring ground to a halt as the defenses for both squads turned in sparkling performances. Nick, moving across the diamond from his normal position, had a stellar performance at first, earning him the season’s first defensive-based Game MVP award.

“With our star first basemen out of the lineup, I knew there was a big challenge ahead of me and I put Operation Vacu-Suck into action,” said Nick. “Megamaid was huge, but we would be nothing without my fellow Assholes. It was truly an honor to don the helmet!”

In the end, it took heads-up and aggressive baserunning from FBJ and Matty to give the Spaceballs a pair of insurance runs in the top of the fourth. Both managed to scoot home when the MaSheen’s infielders paid a little too much attention to other runners, including Asian who made yet another diving play on the basepaths.

“I knew our opponents were top notch and that we'd need every run we could get,” said Matty when. “You can't be Prince Valium out there on the bases, you have to be on your toes. I saw that they let their guard down for a moment and knew I had my chance. I took only what I needed to survive.”

In the end, those bare three runs turned out to be enough as Gone To Plaid’s defense managed to prevent the potent Blue Steel offense from getting a rally going.

Veteran fielder Rob “R-Squared” Rogers said, “That was probably one of the better games I've played in a while because we basically were evenly matched, it was like a chess match. Leading 1-0 we couldn't figure out what to do in order to score more points. But we as team strategized and took the other team out of their element! That was an intense game...and next week will only be that more intense!”

Gone To Plaid’s official boosters club enjoyed the nail biter. “It was better than going to a Red Sox game,” said Mari Frey.

The WINNING MaSheen weren’t about to let the Assholes off the hook that easily, however. Challenging the Plaid at the bar, Big Blue were a force to be reckoned with at the flip cup table, probably winning the majority of the races. However, the Spaceballs came up big in the final race which, Big points out, the Blues, themselves, announced was the “winner take all” contest. Maybe next time, friends.

The Spaceballs are now looking to next week when they’ll match up against league leaders, Pitch Intense, with former Munt & Flip-er: Captain Phil Monkeybutt.

Photos courtesy of Matty Stevenson