Regular Season Stats

The Superlatives (Kickball Achievements)

• Silver Boot (Highest Average): Brennan (.900)
• The Youkilis (Most Walks): Nancy (2)
• Drive 'Em In (Most RBIs): Big (13)
• Go On Without Me! (Most Sacrifice RBIs): Tie Brennan and Asian (2)
• Boom-Goes-The-Dynamite (Most HRs): Big (4)
• Oh-Fer (Lowest Average): Nick (.000)*
• The Jackson (Most Hits): Tie Seamus and Big (10)

Complete Stats (Click to Enlarge)

Gone to Plaid 2011

* Kelly's .000 Average exempted because she managed to drive in a run.

Gone to Plaid Shoot Shoot Til Yah Boot Til They Boot

The Spaceballs arrived at the final game of the 2011 MA Patriot season the same way they started the first, at full throat and in high spirits. With the prospect of an undefeated season at hand, they took the field with pride, determination and verve.

While the offense had an uncharacteristically slow first inning, they started cooking in the second with a 2 RBI double by Game MVP Nancy.

“After two weeks of walking, my legs were itching for a big kick,” said Nancy. “My opportunity came in the 2nd with bases loaded and one out. It has been my goal to one day kick a home run. Well I got the next best thing!”

Chris then brought in Wayne and Rob finished the attach with a sac fly to score Nancy.

The scoring continued in the fourth with a 3 RBI single by Pete. Vapok then scored on a single by Brennan.

The final Asshole run would come in the fifth off of a Big Home Run.

Defensively, Gone to Plaid were clearly relaxed. However, the play of the night went to Kate, who saved a certain run-scoring boot to left center with a solid catch.

“I have been working on improving my reception skills, and I suppose all of the four-leaf clovers that I have been hunting out there have come in handy!” said Radio. “It was nice to get my hands on that ball! I may not be able to kick, but apparently I can catch! I’m a much more feminine Carl Crawford!”

At the other end of the spectrum, a missed tag by Big that rolled into centerfield resulted in a pair of runs for the Green in the fifth. Asian’s “Swim Move” finally failed her as a twisting pop-up managed to spin out of her hands. Seamus, however, put the most gray hair on his captain’s head, spending the better part of the fifth inning lying on his side and picking daisies in right field.

When reached for comment, Seamus allowed only: “Rum.”

One of the plays of the season, however, has to go to the final out of the game. A perfectly placed bunt down the third baseline forced Kevin to charge hard from third. Instead of scooping the ball up for the throw, however, he chose to shoe the ball over to first to get the runner.

“I never want to see him do that again,” said Big. “But I have to admit, that was freaking awesome!”

Though the performance wasn’t flawless, its larger meaning for the season is clear. Gone to Plaid finish the regular season undefeated and take the first place seed going into the playoffs, with a bye round.

“I’m enormously proud,” said a tearful Captain Big. “This is a great squad. I couldn’t ask for better. The sky’s the limit for the Spaceballs!”

Spaceballs Temper the Bootleggers

Thursday saw an “Original 8” matchup between a pair of MA Patriot veterans and longtime rivals. With a tight race for the top spot in the division at stake, Gone to Plaid took the field with purpose against a seasoned foe.

With a final score of 4-1, it came down to the stronger defense. The Assholes were nearly impeccable in the field, playing with the class and level-headedness of an experienced squad.

The outfield was rock solid, letting not a single fly drop. Pete and Colin at first base were steel traps through the match, keeping everything close and not giving up free passes. Many of those throws came from home plate as the Bootleggers proved themselves to be excellent bunters.

"Brow made some really strong, clutch throws to first,” said Colin. “I was worried he'd throw out his shoulder (again), but then I remembered all the steroids and HGH he took during his recovery. Thank God WAKA doesn't have drug testing!"

Brow’s performance on the field, along with a 2 for 2 day at the plate with two runs and an RBI earned him the Game MVP (entirely on merit, no pity award this season). As always, though, the catcher was humble:

“That might have been the best game we've had in awhile. Everyone brought their A game: a big catch by Rob, Chris had a fantastic shot and we saw some great crying… from the pitcher when I incorrectly told Radio to bat.”

As Madden said, however, if you don’t put any points on the board, you’ll have a hard time winning the game. While the defense was sparkling, the Spaceballs, again, proved themselves to have the mettle to squeeze runs out of the tightest of defenses.

They plated their first run in the opening frame with a triple by Big. But the fireworks came out in the fourth with an extended rally that started with Nancy’s second walk of the season. When asked about her capacity for working deep counts and ability to lay off those outside pitches she said:

“I've been quite lucky getting into the pitcher's head lately. Last year, the pitcher couldn't find the strike zone and threw meatballs, last week I walked; and this week I walked on a rare kickball full count. I guess patience really is a virtue.”

Nancy would eventually come around to score on a double by Brennan. Chris continued his recent hot streak, lacing a single scoring on Matty’s single a few at-bats later.

It proved to be one of the tightest games of Gone to Plaid’s season thus far and leaves them in excellent position to finish the season strong.

With the victory, Gone to Plaid continue their season-long undefeated streak while the Bootleggers suffered only their second loss of the season. Both teams look to be strong contenders in the playoffs this season.

And now: My favorite picture of the season...

Thanks Matty!

Gone to Plaid to Fresh Kicks: ‘That’s what I call a close encounter!’

A rare clear sky greeted the Spaceballs as they took to the field on Thursday against the vaunted Fresh Kicks of Ball(Air). After a two week kickball drought, Gone to Plaid were champing at the bit to do some ballin’ and it showed.

After a quiet first inning, the Spaceballs put their first runs on the board with RBIs by Brennan and Kate, scoring Shelby and Asian.

The Assholes would break it open in the fourth, however, with a two out rally that plated 7 runs, including two by Game MVP Wayne and a three run home run by Captain Big.

Wayne doesn’t like the limelight, so refrained from comment after the match, though he expressed affection for his teammates and was proud of their performance.

Defensively, Gone to Plaid were sparkling. Aside from Big throwing the ball into the weeds in the fifth, the Assholes played an error-free game, with contributions coming from all over the field. Shelby and Angela made big catches at their positions but the defensive play of the game went to Asian, who made a phenomenal one-handed snag at second robbing the Kicks of at least a single.

“I’m so proud of myself for catching that ball! I went like this then I went like that and held on to it!” she said, breathlessly.

The Plaid took advantage of the superb conditions to try some players at new positions. Matty finally got his start behind the plate and excelled.

“Getting’ a shot behind the plate was awesome,” said Matty. “The bums were nice, of course, but I'm more concerned whether or not they give good helmet. Having such a great fielding team was instrumental in this win when our opponents tried to mount a rally, and it was GREAT to watch it all from home plate!”

Due to some last minute scratches, Colin “Man of” found himself in shallow center, again. However, he played the position like a true vet, making a key out in the late going at second base.

“I know hick I was playing center field, but I hadn't hick been to second base in a while, so when the opportunity hick presented itself, I reached out and grabbed hick it!”

The Fresh Kicks managed a brief rally in the fifth to put two runs across when Big (again, insisting on being solely responsible for all runs allowed this season) threw the ball into the weeds.

Gone to Plaid hopes to hold on to this momentum as they move into the last few weeks of the season, their eyes on the coveted Division Title and the glory of the MA Patriot Championship beyond that.

Next week they will face off against the veteran and streaking Bootleggers.