As advertised, The Team Your Team Could Smell Like came to MA Patriot’s Opening Day ready to play as they began their 2010 Founders' Cup campaign.
With a final score of 12-1, the slightly-more-maroon-and-less-cardinal-red-than-expected Spices gave Where My Pitches At a veritable trouncing as both teams shook off the rust and reacquainted themselves with Cambridge Common.
The scoring came fast and heavy in the first, starting with a grand slam by Big before the Pitches had recorded an out. RBIs by Phil, JP and Spartacus piled it on.
The Pitches managed to get on the board in the bottom of the frame with a run of their own, but the fresh defense snuffed any thought of an answering rally.
The Spices then got back into the swing of the things in the second with a two run single by Thug and an RBI double by rookie Melanie.
“Wait, I got an RBI? Awesome!” said Melanie.
Heads up baserunning, all-around hustle and the new kickballs served the Spices well as the team managed to get through the entire kicking order twice; a rare feat in WAKA kickball.
“It felt good getting back out there and putting a charge into the ball,” panted Captain Big, fresh from rounding the bases. “They’re new, so it’s like we’re kicking with corked bats. Give it two weeks and the balls will flab out and it’ll be like kicking a water balloon.”
The Team Your Team Could Smell Like didn’t reserve all of its adventures for the basepaths, however. The veteran kickballers fielded like two-time champions, as well.
Captain Monkeybutt made a pair of strong grabs in the hot corner and would’ve had a great heads up tag out had the runner not exhibited the reflexes of a ninja cat.
The Pitches’ bunt threat was shut down by heads up play behind the plate as Brow chased down a short-kick and tagged the Pitches’ captain out himself.
The play of the night, however, came in the third when, with runners on and two outs, the Pitches’ kicker caught all of a Big slider and sent the ball bombing into deep center. CF Ray, who had taken his first step in when the ball was kicked (A cardinal sin in the outfield), quickly back-pedaled, tripped over his own feet and, as he fell, caught and held onto the plummeting ball. All of Cambridge Common erupted as Ray got to his feet, still clutching the ball to his chest.
“I just saw the ball was going to hit me in the face (that’s what she said) so I closed my eyes (that’s what she said) and the next thing I knew I was on my back (that’s what she said) and the ball was in my hands (that’s what she said),” said the game MVP.
Co-Captain Colin “Man of” Steele was jubilant. “This game showed just how dominant we can be when we're not drunk on the field. Maybe we should stay sober all season... Oh, who am I kidding?”
The Spices celebrated deep into the night, showing off the new Glass Dildo Memorial MVP trophy. Big bought a pitcher for the Pitches’ first baseman whose nose Asian managed to bloody during the game. And the Spices found themselves fighting off a pair of drunk Russian Bond girls who (understandably) took a shine to their trademark socks. The Team Your Team Could Smell Like isn’t about to give up their footwear without a fight, however, which is what makes them champions… Though, hearing that a player from another team sold his socks to the girls for a pair of pitchers may change some minds…
The Spices are looking forward to carrying this momentum into next week when they face the upstart Ballstars 4.0.
